MANAGER'S COLD WHATSAPP REPLY TO BEREAVEMENT LEAVE REQUEST

A simple text message exchange, recently gone viral, has ripped the band-aid off a deep wound in today's workplace culture. The conversation starts with a sad, simple notification: "Morning sir, my nana passed away last night, won't be able to come to office today." This is a moment of raw grief, a request for time off to mourn an irreplaceable family loss.

​The manager’s first reply is brief, perhaps automated, but acceptable: "So sorry to hear that."

​The exchange takes a dark, chilling turn ten minutes later. The manager’s next messages reveal a complete lack of human empathy. Instead of simply granting the bereavement leave, the manager introduces conditions: "Take the day off. But we are onboarding a couple of clients today, can you stay on the induction call?" Followed immediately by: "Be active on WhatsApp as well and pitch in with the designers whenever needed?"

​When the grieving employee fails to respond instantly, the manager sends a final, expectant message hours later: "?? Are you there." The implication is clear: your family loss is inconvenient, and your availability is more important than your grief.

​This chat is not an isolated incident of a rude manager. It is a perfect, painful snapshot of a toxic work environment where productivity is the only metric that matters, and human employees are treated as interchangeable, function-based resources. It has rightly sparked outrage online because it mirrors the quiet suffering of millions of workers who feel they must constantly choose between their professional duties and their personal lives, even in moments of deep crisis.

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The Illusion of Bereavement Leave

​In theory, every decent company has a bereavement leave policy. It is a necessary safeguard, recognizing that when a close family member dies, a person is simply not capable of performing their job. The purpose of this leave is twofold: to allow the employee to process their grief and to handle the immediate, unavoidable family rituals.

​What the manager in this chat did was to grant the leave in name only. They said "Take the day off," but immediately followed it up with demands that entirely negate the rest the employee needs:

• ​"Stay on the induction call": This means showing up, participating, and using valuable emotional energy when it should be preserved.

• ​"Be active on WhatsApp": This destroys the possibility of stepping away. It ties the employee to their phone, forcing them to be on call, constantly checking notifications and interrupting their grief process.

• ​"Pitch in with the designers": This isn't passive monitoring; it is requiring active, creative input which demands a focused, clear mind—the exact opposite of a mind consumed by loss.

​This is not bereavement leave; it is working from the funeral. It is a manager trying to extract the maximum possible labor while providing the minimum possible relief. The message it sends to the entire team is corrosive: Your personal pain is secondary to the company's client schedule.

​Toxic Culture: The Erosion of Empathy

​This entire exchange is a textbook example of a toxic work culture where empathy has been systematically stripped away. Why does this happen?

​1. The Always-On Expectation

​In the era of smartphones and instant messaging, the line between work and life has dissolved. Managers feel entitled to access employees at any hour, regardless of their status. This manager couldn't fathom that a person dealing with death might not be instantly available, leading to the impatient "?? Are you there" later in the day.

​2. Prioritizing Immediate Tasks

​The manager explicitly mentions "onboarding a couple of clients." This reveals a short-term, transactional mindset. They see the immediate benefit of a successful client onboarding outweighing the long-term cost of alienating and traumatizing a valued employee. Good management looks ahead; it understands that supporting an employee through grief results in loyalty, improved performance later, and a healthier team morale.

​3. The Fear of Substitution

​It is highly unlikely that this employee was the only person who could possibly handle the induction call or help the designers. The request often stems from managerial laziness or a lack of planning—not wanting to take the minor inconvenience of shuffling tasks or briefing a backup. It is easier to demand the grieving employee stay active than to manage the workload properly.

​What Good Leadership Looks Like

​If this manager were a decent leader, the exchange would have been drastically different. A truly supportive response is simple, short, and conclusive.

​A good manager would reply:

​"I am so sorry for your loss. Please take all the time you need. Don't worry about the induction call or WhatsApp. We will manage everything on this end. Focus entirely on your family and take care of yourself. We will connect when you are ready."

​A response like this does several things:

• ​It validates the pain: It acknowledges the gravity of the situation without trivializing it.

• ​It creates a boundary: It explicitly tells the employee to step away from work.

• ​It offers concrete support: "We will manage everything." This is the core function of a leader—to absorb the shock and protect the team when one member is down.

• ​It builds trust: The employee feels valued as a human being, not just a cog. They will return to work feeling rested, loyal, and ready to contribute fully.

​The damage caused by the actual manager's response extends far beyond the employee who lost their nana. Every single person who saw that exchange—the designers, the other team members, the clients—received a loud, clear signal about the company’s true values. It tells everyone that if they fall, the company will not break their fall; it will simply try to squeeze a few more hours of work out of their descent.

​The Path Forward: Demanding Human Treatment

​This viral chat serves as a necessary, painful public service announcement. Employees must realize that this kind of treatment is unacceptable and is a clear indicator to seek better employment where they are respected.

​Companies must realize that the cost of burning out and alienating employees far outweighs the minor inconvenience of covering a shift. A company’s true reputation is built not on its marketing campaigns, but on how it treats its employees during their most vulnerable moments. If you want a loyal workforce, you must first demonstrate fundamental humanity.

​The manager’s question, "?? Are you there," delivered to a grieving employee, is the ultimate indictment of a workplace culture that has lost its soul. Let this viral moment be a reminder: We are human beings first, employees second. Our grief, our health, and our families will always come first. A good company respects this order. A toxic one tries to reverse it, and in doing so, reveals its own moral bankruptcy.