MOTHER-IN-LAW MOCKS DAUGHTER-IN-LAW IN LABOUR ROOM

Labour is perhaps the most intense, vulnerable, and demanding experience a human body can go through. It is a time when a woman deserves nothing less than absolute care, support, and empathy from the people around her. It is a moment of creation, pain, and profound anxiety, and the people in the room—her partner, the doctors, the nurses, and her family—are her shields and her anchors.

​But a viral video from a Prayagraj hospital recently exposed a reality that is heartbreakingly common in many Indian families: the toxic relationship between a mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law, taken to a cruel extreme. The video, which has now circulated widely online, shows an elderly mother-in-law verbally abusing and mocking her daughter-in-law as the younger woman writhes in the pain of childbirth. The elderly woman’s words were venomous, demanding that the woman "keep her mouth shut" and even threatening physical violence during a time when the daughter-in-law was completely helpless and focused on surviving the intense contractions.

​This is more than just a family disagreement caught on camera. It is a stark, painful illustration of deep-seated issues surrounding gender, control, and the systemic lack of empathy that exists when a woman’s body becomes the site of a power struggle. Childbirth is not a performance, and the pain is not something to be judged or mocked. It is real, it is overwhelming, and it demands respect.

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The Sacred Space of the Labour Room

​A hospital labour room is meant to be a safe, controlled environment where a woman’s medical and emotional needs are paramount. Doctors and nurses work tirelessly to ensure the physical safety of both mother and baby. But they also understand the immense psychological battle a woman faces. Kind words, a gentle touch, and reassurance can be just as crucial as the medical interventions.

​When family members are allowed inside this sacred space, they are expected to uphold this atmosphere of support. They are there to hold a hand, wipe a brow, and offer encouragement. They are not there to add to the trauma.

​The mother-in-law’s alleged behaviour—her verbal abuse and mocking tone—turned a moment of intense vulnerability into an act of public humiliation. It shows a complete disregard for the pain being experienced and, more disturbingly, a desire to exert control even when her daughter-in-law’s body was literally pushing life into the world. In those moments, the woman needed comfort, not a command to "keep her mouth shut." She was undergoing one of the hardest experiences of her life, and her family was actively making it worse. This is a betrayal of the deepest kind, occurring at a moment when the victim is at her absolute weakest.

​The Roots of Control and Power

​To understand this tragedy of empathy, we have to look deeper into the dynamics of joint families and the often-fraught relationship between women of two generations. In many traditional settings, the mother-in-law, having endured her own hardships and potentially a difficult childbirth experience, views the daughter-in-law’s suffering as an opportunity for two things:

​1. A Test of Endurance: The older generation often believes that "we went through worse, so you must too." They see expressing pain as a weakness or a drama, rather than a normal physical response. This toxic comparison invalidates the younger woman’s experience.

​2. An Assertion of Power: Having given up control of her son to the daughter-in-law, the mother-in-law may use moments like labour to reassert her dominance. The daughter-in-law is dependent, immobile, and focused on her body, making her an easy target for a verbal attack. By mocking the pain, the mother-in-law essentially says, "I am still in charge, even over your body."

​This behaviour is a product of systemic patriarchy, where women who have been controlled often learn to become controllers themselves. It’s a vicious cycle of trauma passed down, not an isolated incident of simple meanness. However, understanding the cause does not forgive the cruelty. There is no justification for mocking someone in excruciating pain.

​Breaking the Silence on Labour Room Etiquette

​The incident raises crucial questions about hospital protocols and the need for better public awareness regarding support during childbirth.

​1. Hospital Responsibility

​Hospitals need to train staff not just in medical procedures, but also in monitoring the emotional environment of the labour room. If an accompanying family member is adding to the stress, trauma, or pain of the patient through verbal abuse or threats, the staff must be empowered and obligated to remove that person immediately. The patient’s comfort and emotional safety must be prioritized over family hierarchy.

​2. Education for Families

​Before labour begins, hospitals or birthing centers should provide mandatory, simple education to the patient and her accompanying family members. This would clearly outline what the woman is going through, what her needs will be, and what is expected of those providing support. The focus must be on encouraging, comforting, and respecting her requests. If a family member is unwilling to comply with the rules of support, they should not be allowed inside the room.

​3. Advocating for the Patient

​In the most vulnerable moments, the patient is unable to speak up for herself. Her partner, if present, or the medical staff must act as her advocate. We need to normalize the idea that a husband or a family member can, and should, politely but firmly intervene if a woman in labour is being subjected to emotional abuse or undue stress. Support means protection.

​A Call for Empathy and Respect

​Childbirth is perhaps the one experience that unites all human beings—we all came into the world this way. To witness someone in that raw, primal state of pain and choose to mock them instead of supporting them reveals a severe lack of basic human decency.

​The Prayagraj video, shared across the world, is an uncomfortable mirror held up to our society. It forces us to acknowledge that domestic toxicity does not stop at the doorstep of a hospital; it follows a woman right up to her most intimate and medically critical moment.

​The daughter-in-law in the video deserves an apology and the respect that was robbed from her. Every woman deserves a birth experience that is filled with dignity, kindness, and unwavering support. Let this viral moment serve as a global reminder: A woman’s pain is valid, her voice must be heard, and her birthing space must be a sanctuary. We must demand a culture where empathy prevails over control, and where the incredible act of bringing life into the world is met with nothing but love and respect. This is not too much to ask. This is the bare minimum of our humanity. We must teach the next generation that true strength lies in compassion, especially in moments of great vulnerability.