“Why Most Friendships Don’t Survive the 20s – And That’s Okay”
- Neha Kumari
- Jul 22
- 5 min read
It is a silent heartbreak that most of us face during our mid 20s and rarely is it spoken of. It is not a break up or a loss of job. It is the gradual loss of friendships.
The companions that you used to talk to every day?
Who knew all about you and your crush, and your fears and your dreams, even your coffee-drink?
They gradually go drifting.
The communications are reduced.
Responses become perceived.
And you think: But did I do something wrong?
But the following is the truth that no one screams enough in your face:The majority of friendships will not last into the 20s. And that is alright.
The Reason It Occurs
The 20s are the time of change. It is the time of decade:
Individuals migrate cities or nations.
Free time is replaced by careers.
The order of priorities changes where people can talk until late in the night and hold early morning meetings.
Love relationships become the priorities.
Most of the time though we grow out of the people whom we required.
There is no wrong thing that a person did. It is simply that you are growing- everyone around you is growing as well.
Just consider. The only friend who used to be your college soul mate is now a corporate officer who has to stay at work 10 hours, is 2,000 km far, and spends weekends sleeping.
Life changed. And it changed the two of you.
An Emotional Confusion
The loss of a friend, even gradual one, is like a miss.You recall the images of them you used to have. It is the inside jokes. The wild Geese call. The sense how nothing could ruin your relationship.
Therefore, when the quietness et minor, it hurts not because him and her seem to have had a tussle but because the latter has no resolution.
This is what makes the loss of friendship difficult, it is an undesired heartbreak that has no goodbye.
Growing out of Things Not a Betrayal
Let me just say it, outgrowing someone does not imply that you no longer love them.
You are still capable of loving people you no longer talk to. You are capable of smiling at old pictures without having to reenact that particular vision of the past. You can still think of them fondly even though they do not play a part in your life today.
Growth does not even grow together. And that is not betrayal. That’s life.
The ‘Forever Friends Myth
Friendship always lasts a lifetime, we are sold such a notion, mainly with the help of cinema and Instagram.
People hardly ever speak of:
Friends that you really really care about that you just cease to talk to.
Friends who turn sour when your ways in life take a different turn.
The quiet way friends leave, without any kind of drama, is they distance themselves.
Friendships do not always last eternally. Some are there to teach you a thing.Some are there to gently squeeze your hand through a stage.Some of them are there to remind you of the person you used to be so that you know what you have become.
And that does not mean that those are not real friendships.
When You Begin to feel Alone
The worst thing about losing friends in 20s is the loneliness.When all the other people appear to have developed their own circle.When all of them appear to have someone.You begin doubting their value towards you. Did I stand I too far off? Too intense? Not fun enough?
But the thing is: you are not difficult to love, you are simply changing.And sometimes change appears to be the form of solitude.Sometimes it is the loss of people in order to get to know the person inside.
When Friendships End After 25? That is possible, but different.
And here is something promised: Though in early 20s, most people lose their friendships, in late 20s and early 30s, many find healthier ones.
These friendship are:
It is not about the vibes but the values.
Growing out of an emotional security, not disorder.
Constructed in communal cooperation, not in expediency.
It is not so much about who is partying like me and more of who gets me when I am silent.
So as you are in the lonely phase now, remember that this feeling will not last long.Friendships do not stop, they are just changing.
Occasionally they just turn into memories.
Occasionally into closer connections. and other times they come around when you least expect it.
What to Do to Survive This Period
And to you who are mourning the end of a friendship or enduring a lonely time of life, here it looks like this can help:
1. Submit to the Drift
Quit self blame. Others are time-bound. This does not make the connection any less special. It simply indicates that it has had its days.
2. Don t Chase Instead of Reflect
When a person is drifting, think about your feelings. Do you still miss them, or the ease They gave? Other times one is sad because someone is too familiar.
3. Investment on Yourself
Employ this season in becoming your own best friend. Go out on walks alone. Journal. Pick up lost interests as you grew softer in life.
4. Stay Open
Simply because you are quiet stage, it does not mean the connection is far away. Stay willing to encounter new friends, it may not be with the vigor that you have in the past but it may still be with more depth.
5. Rew applause
When the memory of a once loved friend passes through your mind write to it gently--not with demands. Oh, I thought of you, today. I hope your life is going good.” No pressure. Just presence.
Final Words
According to me, losing friends during 20s is a personal loss. It is one of the most universal human experiences though.You are not broken. You’re growing. And at the same time there is always pruning with growth.
Thus you need not be afraid of the silence.Use it to listen to yourself better.And when new friendships will crop up - slow, gentle, purposeful - you will appreciate them the more. Since you will be aware of what it had to take to make it here.
It is no longer the case that friendships take the same appearance as before. And there is nothing wrong with that. Some remain. Some fade. But a few are returned.But each of them moulds you.
📅 By News Anek Digital Desk | July 22, 2025
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