“Why Toxic Positivity Is More Harmful Than We Think”

A person wearing a mask with a smiley face hides their true emotions, while behind the mask, they look visibly stressed and sad — symbolizing the burden of pretending to be happy all the time.

In a world where everything tells us to have good vibes only in mugs and bios on most of our social media platforms, being happy by always being positive must be the answer, right? Why not be happy and positive after all? However, what occurs when this quest to positivity becomes poisonous?

Toxic positivity is the ideology that everyone, despite the hardness of the situation, should be optimistic. Although it is a strength, to be an optimist, as long as the only acceptable reaction to the pain is the optimistic one, it becomes more of a curse than the one which is productive actually.

What is Toxic Positivity?

Toxic positivity has nothing to do with the promotion of hope: this is a refusal to admit reality. It is those times when someone would tell you that there is a reason behind everything that happens after you have lost something. It is the phrase, just be happy when you feel burnt out or others have it worse when something personal happens to you. Well-meaning as the responses in many cases often may be, they close the doors of emotional expression rather than opening them.

Instead of allowing people to run through their actual emotions, toxic positivity may overwhelm people with a sense of guilt that they are sad, anxious, angry, or frustrated, and all these are perfectly normal feelings.

Why It is so Dangerous

When we are made to know or inferred that we must feel positive things alone, we start developing a notion that anything other is a failure. With time, it may result into:

Emotional suppression: Individuals start suppressing their real emotions with the fear that they would be judged or misunderstood.

Inauthentic relationships: We will have inauthentic relationships when we do not feel free to share our struggles, and we end up having superficial and performative relationships.

Deterioration of mental health: Never done emotions come to haunt. They fester. Research findings indicate that the continuous avoidance or the denial of negative emotions may generate more stress, anxiety and even other disorders to include depression.

The price you pay to lead a meaningful life is discomfort, according to the psychologist Dr. Susan David. By pretending not to feel pain, in the name of being positive, we are missing an opportunity to develop and mature, to heal and to feel deeply.

Toxic Positivity in Our Everyday Life

Toxic positivity has its way of creeping into our lives, which goes unnoticed at times. There are some typical examples of it:

In the job: You have a deadline to meet and one of your workmates tells you, just be happy that you have a job. It is important to be grateful, but this overrules your legitimate stress.

On social media: Posters are ready to discuss their perfect moments only, which makes others think they are bad because they are hurting.

When being friends: You share about a hard time and you get the response: It could have been worse or just keep a positive attitude.

Such responses are done out of well intentions but they lead to shutting down the person who actually needs to be heard.

The Healthy Versus Toxic Positivity Difference

It would be unfair to state that optimism is the nemesis. A huge distinction exists between harmful positivity and positive thinking.

According to toxic positivity, it goes something like: Just do not think about it. Give it attention to the good.”

Healthy optimism - says: This is difficult, but I think I will make it.

The healthy optimism does not exclude pain. It takes into consideration the challenge but still believes in optimism. Toxic positivity attempts to cut out the bad part entirely: and in that, frequently makes conditions even worse.

Avoiding toxic positivity (and making others avoid it too)

Being aware is the first step to the cycle of breaking toxic positivity. As soon as you become able to recognize it, you will be able to begin turning around the manner in which you respond to yourself and other people.

These are some of the things one can do to journey to emotional authenticity:

1. Clear the Emotions First

Rather than attempting to correct another person in how he feels, simply agree with him.

Say: It seems to be quite tough. I am with you, pal.”

avoid: on the bright side, at least

2. Tell the Truth to yourself

When you feel down, don t wonder, Why can t I be happy, and, instead, ask yourself: What do I need at this very moment? You can feel sad or frustrated or grieved.

3. Be Real Positive

Be authentic, not be sugarcoated all the time. Authentic positivity does not deny pain, it embraces it and comes out of it by caring.

4. Having it All

It is possible to be a two-fold-feeler. It is possible to be thankful about your work and at the same time feel overwhelmed. It is possible to love and to be angry. Feelings are not black and white, they are deep and acceptable.

Final Thoughts

Whenever somebody says this to you; just think positivity, consider being silent and ask yourself; is this positivity a solution or a concealment? Emotions can not be problems. They are indicators to be listened to.

Giving ourselves and others the freedom to experience what we experience invites more healing, improved mental health and deeper human connection.

In an era when people are so focused on being fine, perhaps being able to say that we are not is a courageous thing that we can do.

📅 By News Anek Digital Desk | July 22, 2025

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